‘He just sat there emotionless as my sisters, mom, and I bawled our eyes out. I know people deal with things differently but it still bothers me to this day’: Future brother-in-law strains fiancé’s sister’s relationship with their mother

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Mar 10, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Visiting your mom's house is supposed to feel like a warm homecoming, not like stumbling into your sister's fiancé's one-man comedy show—except he's sarcastic, emotionally distant, and has the comedic timing of a brick. For one woman, every trip back means finding this guy planted in the living room like he's been crowned Lord of the Weekends. He's not just visiting occasionally; he's there every single time, radiating the charm of someone who thinks yelling at innocent dogs is a personality.  

You'd think a fiancé, not yet married into the family, might try to blend in or, at the very least, act like he understands the meaning of boundaries. Not this guy. He struts into the family space like he's the new patriarch, calling the shots, pretending emotional warmth is optional, and reducing meaningful conversations to background noise while he occupies center stage. And don't think you can sneak in a private moment with your mom or sister. Between sarcastic commentary and some inexplicable vendetta against the family dog, he's always lurking—a walking reminder that some people lack the natural ability to read the room. 

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  • It’s one thing to tolerate someone’s quirks, but it’s another to feel like your family dynamic has been hijacked by a sarcastic guest who seems allergic to compassion. For this woman, what should have been a place to process grief has been turned into a battleground for patience—one where even the dog looks like he’s about to stage a rebellion.

  • "AITJ for not wanting to come to my mom’s house because my sister’s fiancé is always there?"

    "I'm not comfortable sharing any of those feelings in front of him"
    via Viktor Gladkov

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I am 26F and I just want to know if I'm overreacting about this. So back story, my sister (22F) and her fiancé (23M) got engaged in April 24'. She comes home nearly every weekend and he always comes with her. I lived at home from Jan 24'-Oct 24' while I was
    via supermvns
  • finishing my clinical rotations. My dad had cancer and life was truly a mess, I didn't really notice then how much I didn't like having him (fiancé) around every weekend cause at the time I was living at home and was able to relax the rest of the week away from him. I
    via supermvns
  • moved an hour away for a new job in Oct 24' and would come to my parent's nearly every weekend cause of my dad and his condition. Sadly, he passed this January and my home visits have been much less frequent d/t
    via supermvns

  • Please, if you don't mind

    GO AWAY
    via KenWiedmann
  • some tension with my mom and just the stress of the drive. I was super close with my dad and I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could just in case.
    via supermvns
  • I went home this weekend to visit and I already wasn't feeling great cause I've had a sinus infection all week and I jacked my knee up at work. I knew my sister would be home this weekend but she made
    via supermvns
  • it sound like her fiancé wouldn't be there. Surprise surprise, when I walked in the door I saw him and instantly felt this irritation that I hadn't felt in a while. I was nice and cordial of course, but I was
    via supermvns
  • truly disappointed knowing he was there because there was so much I wanted to talk to my sister and mom about alone, primarily related to my dad. Now he's not a bad guy but he's super sarcastic and not a very touchy
    via supermvns
  • feely guy, so I'm not comfortable sharing any of those feelings in front of him, and I can barely bring myself to talk privately with my mom in my parents bedroom cause of my dad. The other thing is he's not nice to my dog at all.
    via supermvns
  • He yells at him a lot and acts all annoyed with him all the time. My dog can be annoying but he's generally well behaved, he just asks for pets some times and it annoys her fiancé.
    via supermvns
  • Well I started feeling physically worse and felt the trip was overall a waste since I got no actual time with my mom and sister since they were busy doing wedding planning stuff (wedding is in May so I'm obviously not mad at that) and getting their hair done and
    via supermvns
  • so on and so forth. I just decided I didn't feel good and I wanted to go back home, so I texted my mom that I was leaving and sorry about the short notice. She texted me later to see how I was doing and I said I was feeling somewhat depressed and just
    via supermvns
  • sick in general. I don't know why I did but I also told her the stuff about my sister's fiancé and how I didn't feel comfortable talking with him around or how he treats my dog. I told her that she'd have to come visit me from now on
    via supermvns
  • cause I just don't like feeling uncomfortable in the place I used to live and I want my dog to feel free to be a dog. She made me feel kind of bad, said he was gonna be family. I told her he's
    via supermvns
  • Cheezburger Image 10477853952
    via Dean Drobot

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • not family to me and never will be and I realized just how much I don't like him when I said it. My sister would be devastated if I ever told her that so I won't, but I genuinely don't like the guy. He's sarcastic, he can be ride often,
    via supermvns
  • thinks he's always right, and picks on my sister at times with things that bother her. They are always "play arguing" and what i mean by that is they argue but in like unserious tones of voice, but the content is the same every time.
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  • Idk, I think some of these things have just been crawling under my skin for a while and they're just bursting to the surface now. The other small thing that bothered me was he didn't show any emotion when my dad was in the
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  • icu or at his funeral and he knew him for 2 years. He just sat there emotionless as my sisters, mom, and I bawled our eyes out. I know people deal with things differently but it still bothers me to this day.
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  • Am I overreacting? Please be honest, cause I don't want to lose my family relationships because I don't like one person that I won't have to be around all the time.
    via supermvns
  • I'm just feeling somewhat guilty, but also struggling to decide if this is just a boundary of mine or I'm just being too harsh.
    via supermvns
  • auntynell They are going to be obsessed with the wedding for some time and the fiance will be around because that's just how it goes. Once the weddings over things will hopefully settle down. Certainly your
    via auntynell
  • mother will have more free time. If you want to see your sister and mother alone I don't think it's out of line to ask them to go for a meal with you and specifically say just them as you want to talk about your father.
    via auntynell
  • not-your-mom-123 You could suggest a girls- only lunch and day at the park. No men allowed. Maybe you would all enjoy that. There has to be things they'd like to talk about without him around.
    via not--mom-123
  • No-Daikon3645 There's no law saying you have to like your in-laws. I wouldn't like someone who badmouthed my sister either or who was off with my pet. You are allowed to feel comfortable when you visit your old house.
    via No-Daikon3645
  • Perhaps invite your mum and sister to yours. Make it clear the invite is only for them, and spend that time remembering your dad.
    via No-Daikon3645

Tags

family drama inheritance aita AITAH brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt sister fiancé grandmother Father
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